cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
[personal profile] cesy
For the posting of amusing, insightful, witty (etc.) things said on Dreamwidth.

Rules:
  1. Quotes must have originated on Dreamwidth. (Yes, things posted here and cross-posted elsewhere at the same time are ok.)
  2. Original quotes only - quoting quotes on Dreamwidth does not make for a metaquote.
  3. Context! You must credit the quotee by linking to what they said. Include the permanent link to the entry (or comment thread, if you're quoting a comment) in which the quote appears.
  4. If the quote comes from a non-public entry, you must ask for permission from the quotee before posting, and add "QWP" to the post so the admins know all is above board.
  5. Cuts are your friends! [community profile] metaquotes is not intended to be safe-for-work, but please try to respect people browsing their Reading Page at work. Also, please keep quotes short. (How do I make a cut?)
  6. Don't quote yourself, or ask to be quoted. If someone else thinks you're funny, they'll do it. If they don't -- you're not.
  7. You've got 100 characters to set-up, comment on, or explain your quote if you must - that's how long the title of a post can be on DW.
  8. No flaming. The mods reserve the right to delete things that aren't funny. We can't promise this community will be a safe space, but we don't like people being nasty.


If you notice posts and comments which break these rules, alert a community admin so that the contribution can be deleted or mocked accordingly.
cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
[personal profile] cesy
QWP from locked post, by [personal profile] ankaret:

who seems to have so comprehensively lost her marbles she could stand in as a model of the Parthenon.
rydra_wong: The display board of a train reads "this train is fucked". (this train is fucked)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
It's weird to think someone born in 2000 was sixteen in 2016 and now at the end of 2018 they're about fifty.


Context has had a long couple of years.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
4. How can I see them when they're hiding? It's unnatural. They might be INSIDE A BOX. Or UP HIGH ON A SHELF. Or even have their head under the couch so they can't see me. Or better yet, part of their body hidden under the couch, so they can see me but they're still entirely hidden as long as at least 5% of their fur is under the couch. And yet I have the audacity to look at them, as if they're not hidden at all!

Context doesn't deserve to have water sprayed on it.
kaberett: On May the 3rd 2013, an Adelie penguin looks REALLY UNPLEASANTLY SURPRISED and slightly flaily with its flippers. (HOLY SHIT)
[personal profile] kaberett
In response to a post by [personal profile] rydra_wong entitled Exciting new innovations in constitutional crisis, [personal profile] starlady:
This is the most 2018 thing I've heard in at least a week or so.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
"The mods keep freezing comments on my off-topic posts and tell me to only post mushrooms I want identified to the mushroom identification comm, so here's every photograph I've ever taken of any mushroom that looks even vaguely like a dick. I have been mushrooming for the better part of twenty years." (Wow, that's...a lot of mushrooms, neighbor.)

[personal profile] sara's context proves that whatever the content, fandom never changes. (More examples in the entry.)
rydra_wong: Fragment of a Tube map, with stations renamed Piero della Francesca, Harpo, Socrates and Seneca. (walking -- the great bear)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
[personal profile] antisoppist:

My kids keep having to do this game at school where they are all different countries and they have to make paper shapes but one lot has loads of paper and one pair of scissors and another lot has four pairs of scissors and three sheets of paper and another lot has all the rulers and someone else has lots of pencils. It usually ends in a fight. Which is quite realistic really. How have our MPs not noticed that we do not have all the scissors?


[personal profile] kaberett:

(because all the ones who are fucking this up so badly have spent their entire lives blissfully and arrogantly self-assured that of course they have all the scissors and have for generations, it's just that they might need to send the servants up to the attic to find them)


Context is watching Dominic Raab discover the existence of the Channel.
rydra_wong: "dreamwidth" on red/pink clouds (dreamwidth -- clouds)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
Last night one of my dreams involved a kind of sorting station full of huge golden capsules (roughly the size and shape of hatboxes, but with rounded edges). The staff said that whichever one was opened would determine the kind of god overseeing our reality. I think they mostly contained atheist or deist universes, with a sprinkling of angry gods, but there was one capsule that would put “Bob the Giant Space Cat” in charge. As they explained this, someone saw the Bob capsule (how they could tell idk as the capsules were all outwardly identical) and made a slow-motion dive towards it. They must have succeeded, for the heavens opened and Bob the Giant Space Cat descended in all His glory. “Welcome to your universe, Mr. Bob,” said the staff. “Would you like to tour the facility?” Then the dream segued to a surprisingly normal narrative about grocery shopping or something.

Context would welcome Bob the Giant Space Cat.
rydra_wong: Doonesbury: Mark announcing into a microphone, "That's guilty! Guilty, guilty, guilty!!" (during the Watergate scandal) (guilty)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
[personal profile] kore is admiring:

Man, Bob Mueller has been taking lessons from Beyonce or something.


Context is having a dance party.
rydra_wong: dreamsheep with spork and "SheepSpork" logo; no, it wouldn't make any more sense if you saw it  (dreamwidth -- sheepspork)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
I am the chair of the concom for the Hudson County Food and Homelessness summit in October 2019. One of the committee members casually referred to "the ineluctable progress of fascism." And I thought, no it isn't! We're elucting! So now I think of this as an Eluction Year.

Context is ineffable.
leeshajoy: (Default)
[personal profile] leeshajoy
Note to self, you should maybe consider not going directly from advice columns like Captain Awkward to feature reviews of antimalware products like ESET.

PUA means two very different things depending on which one of those you're reading and ESET is not capable of protecting anybody from pickup artists.

then again your average PUA is probably a potentially unwanted application made flesh, anyway.

Context wishes you could class douchebags as malware.

In memoriam

Sep. 5th, 2018 08:25 am
rydra_wong: Servalan looks inappropriately delicate and sincere. (b7 -- servalan is very pretty)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
[personal profile] thisbluespirit is remembering the late great Jacqueline Pearce as Supreme Commander Servalan:

It's not that it's only her costumes that were amazing. It's just that you can't talk about Servalan and not talk about how Jacqueline Pearce could walk out into a BBC quarry wearing evening dresses made out of feathers/chicken wire/lizards/whatever and make the quarry look like the thing that had embarrassingly turned up in the wrong outfit because obviously the universe should just bend itself around Supreme Commander Servalan (and often did).

Context will miss her.
rydra_wong: The display board of a train reads "this train is fucked". (this train is fucked)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
I was trying to figure out what Putin hates. Sharks, no. Bears, no. How can I somehow represent the Magnitsky Act with glitter?

Context is sparkly.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
I have decided to resolve this tension in the easiest and most elegant way I can, which is to say I intend to undergo the Vulcan ritual of Kolinahr, thus divesting myself of all emotion forever. I will then move into a dank mountain cave. There I shall abandon my humanity and pursue life as an apprentice fruit bat, forever cut off from any news sources that might cause me distress.

Context is divided.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
[personal profile] nanila is speaking to someone to whom she has just been introduced:

Him: “Your president is very handsome.”
Me: “WHAT”
Him: “Justin Trudeau! He’s very handsome.”
Me: “OH THANK GOODNESS”

Context just lost Eurovision.
jjhunter: multiple watercolor butterflies flying (butterfly flock)
[personal profile] jjhunter
fluffilis squeeum. The hot-off-the-press fluff you read on the bus, defenseless against your own facial expressions and muffled squeaks.
fluffilis amicitia. The fluff you write for a friend's birthday, even though it's not your ship.
fluffilis canadiensis. The fluff that involves huddling for warmth in a snowbound cabin.
flangstis farscapia. The fluff you had to wade through twenty miles of waist-deep angst to get to, but by god, you'd do it again.
flangstis molluscoides. The fluff to be found when a hard character finally cracks open.

Context was inspired to taxonomize fluff.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Touch helps when I am stressed. This is why I have a cat. It's never occurred to me to contract the cat's job out to strangers any more than I'd invite them in to poo in a box by the back door.

Context doesn't want strangers touching them, thanks.
rydra_wong: Assorted Watergate conspirators sing along: "We're Richard Nixon's seeecret tapes club band!" (secret tapes club band)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
In regard to recent shenanigans:

nunberg pizza with left testimony

(Context is actually discussing Watergate and pirates.)
rydra_wong: the illuminated Sarajevo haggadah (sarajevo haggadah)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
Hey.

May you be safe.
May you be free from tyranny.
May you be free from violence and the threat of violence.
May you be free from fear.

I wish this for you every day, and I wish it today.

May you have clean drinking water.
May you have a dry, warm living place.
May you be beloved.
May you be healthy.

I wish this for you every day, and I wish it today.

May you also be happy.
May you also be fulfilled.
May you achieve wisdom.

May you be less ponderous than this litany, and much funnier.

May there be justice for you and what you love.

May you worship or not worship, as your best understanding of the world guides you, in safety and peace.

May you freely give and receive love.
May you be brave and may you be a foundation for the bravery of others.
For their compassion, their fulfillment, their transformation.

May I be a foundation for these things in you, and you in me.

May I be given the honour to do this for you and not completely screw it up. And may you be able to do it for someone else and not completely screw it up. And may we be able to do it for all.

Let it be so, or let it be better than I have said, or let me try again.


Context is locked; QWP.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Per the Weather Service: Anybody who tries to celebrate New Year's outdoors will become an icicle. Stay indoors and plead with your pipes to stay thawed.

Context will not be watching the ball drop in person.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
P.S. Also, let us be honest here. If Tony Stark became suicidal and tried to kill himself, he is not going to use pills. Something will explode.

Context has opinions on fanfic.
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