metaquotes | Recent Entries

For the posting of amusing, insightful, witty (etc.) things said on Dreamwidth.

Rules:

Quotes must have originated on Dreamwidth. (Yes, things posted here and cross-posted elsewhere at the same time are ok.)
Original quotes only - quoting quotes on Dreamwidth does not make for a metaquote.
Context! You must credit the quotee by linking to what they said. Include the permanent link to the entry (or comment thread, if you're quoting a comment) in which the quote appears.
If the quote comes from a non-public entry, you must ask for permission from the quotee before posting, and add "QWP" to the post so the admins know all is above board.
Cuts are your friends! metaquotes is not intended to be safe-for-work, but please try to respect people browsing their Reading Page at work. Also, please keep quotes short. (How do I make a cut?)
Don't quote yourself, or ask to be quoted. If someone else thinks you're funny, they'll do it. If they don't -- you're not.
You've got 100 characters to set-up, comment on, or explain your quote if you must - that's how long the title of a post can be on DW.
No flaming. The mods reserve the right to delete things that aren't funny. We can't promise this community will be a safe space, but we don't like people being nasty.

If you notice posts and comments which break these rules, alert a community admin so that the contribution can be deleted or mocked accordingly.

foxfirefey

JUST SAW "HOW ITS MADE" ON MAGNETS. THAT SHIT IS FOR REAL. I THOUGHT MAGNETS JUST SORT OF EXISTED.

THEY DON'T.

THESE FUCKING WIZARDS MAKE THEM OUT OF MAGIC SAND MOLDS AND MOLTEN METAL THAT BURNS THE MOLDS FROM THE INSIDE OUT AND THEN THEY BASH THEM WITH SLEDGEHAMMERS AND PACK THEM IN MORE SAND AND HEAT THEM TO FUCK KNOWS HOW HIGH AND THEN CHARGE THEM WITH ELECTRICITY.

--kestrel_hawk

BASICALLY, SUPERCONDUCTORS ARE SUCH STONE-COLD (LIQUID NITROGEN COLD, BITCHES, AND THAT'S THE NICE ONE OF THE FAMILY) BADASSES THAT WHEN THEY ENCOUNTER A MAGNETIC FIELD, THEY'RE ALL LIKE, "DID I SAY YOU COULD TOUCH ME, BITCH? NO, I FUCKING WELL DID NOT," AND THE LINES OF MAGNETIC FORCE ARE ALL LIKE, "OH SHIIIIIIIIIITTTT" AND AVOID THAT MOTHERFUCKER. EXCEPT THEY CAN'T GO TOO FAR AWAY, SO THEY SORT OF DIVERT AROUND THE SUPERCONDUCTER AND HOLD IT ALOFT LIKE THE GODDAMN KING OF PHYSICAL LAW THAT IT IS. SUPERCONDUCTER GOES WHERE IT WANTS (GIVEN IMPETUS BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, BECAUSE IT HAS MINIONS FOR THAT, BITCHES). PHYSICISTS HAVE BEEN BEATING THEIR BRAINS OUT TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE GODDAMN MEISSNER EFFECT FOR ALMOST 80 FUCKING YEARS. THAT'S HOW BADASS THE MEISSNER EFFECT IS.

--paxpinnae

context thinks science teaching should go this way

foxfirefey

When faced with the horrible inevitability of Snow, you have two options -- you can either have relatively mild temperatures accompanied by big wet slushy flakes that will weigh down powerlines and knock over trees and generally just fucking suck, or you can have tiny little relatively harmless snowflakes that will do little damage, but that are tiny because it is fuckoff balls-to-the-wall cold and going outside will make you cry tiny salt-lick popsicles of sorrow.

context is learning about winter in New England

shadowspar

Kinks are not like Pokemon. You don't collect them, put them in folders and then use them to outdo fellow collectors.

Kinks, my friends, are like Warhammer. You start off with small ones, and you primp and polish them, and put them on display when you're not using them. You add newer and bigger and more complicated ones to your army, but if you're doing it right, you have a horde of lovingly tended simple kinks as well, the footsoldiers to your war machines.

And then, you don't take them in one-on-one combat, oh no. You launch entire campaigns.

Context is flocked, QWP, and decidedly divergently geeky.

elliemurasaki

The takeaway from SOPA and the NDAA: Congress threatens us with indefinite detention without trial? We'll grumble about it. Congress threatens to screw with our Internet? WE WILL SHUT THINGS DOWN.

—

hatman, here

dreamatdrew

Now, speaking for myself, I find doing paperwork (even kinky paperwork) pretty tedious and unsexy, and I'd actually rather do my taxes than go through about two and a half thousand questions about kinky acts and whether I want to do them. But that's basically just "not my kink" --

Context has definite opinions on BDSM checklists.

highlyeccentric

* Sometimes, you have to explain that you're talking about D&D, not S&M, when you say you're a dungeon master. Because it's not nice to confuse people about those two things.

Context is flocked, QWP, and has hair that eats souls.

whump

Your 1920x1080 TV takes a 1920x1080 signal, chops the edges off it and then stretches the rest to fit the screen because of decisions made in the 1930s.

Context is annoyed that a HDTV does not act as sensibly as a HD monitor.

ETA: fixed link, which apparently was caught in a DOS file name convention time warp.

xtina

SHOCK NEWS: IS FOOD GOOD FOR YOU?

Groundbreaking new research released today suggests that under some circumstances, food may be not be as harmful as it's traditionally been thought.

"Of course, this is a small-scale preliminary study," said lead scientist Totally Made Up Name, "but it indicates that the human body may actually need a certain number of calories to function properly. However, it's possible that these results only apply to people who engage in intense activities like moving, talking or thinking."

Speaking on behalf of the National Association For Nutrition And Dieting But Mostly Dieting, J. Also Made Up Name cautioned that this research shouldn't lead people to adopt fad diets that are high in protein, fat or carbohydrates. "It's important for people to remember that food is still fundamentally evil."

--
Context is concerned about the effects of food on the population.

Current Mood: amused

rydra_wong

1. Allow an environmentally sound light bulb to explode in your pantry, showering everything with powdered glass and presumably elemental mercury omg.

2. Clean everything and every surface in the pantry. Linger lovingly over the liquor shelf.

3. Find an ancient and out of date christmas pudding! Unwrap it, tie shiny ribbon in hair, and get girlfriend to examine pudding for mould.

4. Crumble pudding in bowl. Sprinkle with Cointreau. Drink rest of Cointreau (Aussies, tastes like Durotuss, y/y?) because useless to put that bottle back now. It was nearly empty.

Context gets steadily more and more hilarious, as well as delicious.

rydra_wong

There is a room in the Argenti devoted entirely to gadgets made out of deformed pearls. No, really. The artisan would take a deformed pearl and say, clearly God intended this to be the hump of a camel, although in fact God intended no such thing and probably the opposite, and then the artisan would graft a camel's neck and head and legs and tail onto the thing in extremely precious materials and say, oh, look, I have cunningly made it obvious what this particular deformed pearl really looks like. And then one of the Medici daughters would buy it, so that we centuries later could stare at it and say, that is the worst miniature of a camel I have ever, ever seen. There are deformed-pearl babies' cradles. Ships in sail. Insects. Harlequins with pearl legs. Mermaids with pearl tails. The mind begins to bleed.

Context is in Florence.

wychwood

...for some reason whenever I'm stressed about work, I start having dreams about Australia. I have no idea why. It's like the Defcon 1 of stress for me.

(Ruuger's stress-related nightmare scale: too many cats | zombies attack | bears attack | dinosaurs attack | everyone I love is dead! | Australia)

Context should watch out for kangaroos.

miss_s_b

daweaver has a slight issue with the magazines selected to vote for the sportspeople:

"A charade in which Zoo comic (circulation 54,318) is selected to vote, unlike the more popular and equally sports-focussed Disney's Princesses (63,023)."

(left in a comment on my DW)

Current Mood: amused

elliemurasaki

copperbadge:

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE. Wake up, it's Thanksgiving!

On this day, as on July the fourth, we mourn the rift between ourselves and the motherland. The sense of adriftness, the quiet grief which has become a part of our national culture since separating from our brethren overseas is never more poignantly illustrated than on this day. Oh, the stern sermons upon reconciliation! The self-flagellatory trials of strength, and the dirgelike funerary parades! We shall eat only lean fowl, dried bread soaked in broth, stewed berries, and root vegetables.

Tomorrow we observe a day of sober reflection upon our tumultuous, unsettling history: Black Friday. Nobody dares go into the street! By the law of our forefathers, there shall be neither trading nor selling upon this day, and only the leftovers of the previous day's small, spartan meal shall be consumed. Truly it is the darkest day of the year.

Yea, these two days are a time of great weeping and gnashing of teeth, and only the brief, adrenaline-fueled excitement of the traditional Trip To The Grocery Store For Stuff We Forgot We Needed breaks the somber atmosphere. As we gather with our families in the spirit of mutual support, sympathy, and intergenerational understanding, let us remember those who came before, and shed a solitary tear in their name.

Context watched 1776 last night.

boundbooks

chiller has made a discovery:

I've just discovered that "Skyrim" is a game. I've spent the last week thinking it refers to sycophants in the Murdoch empire.

Context is short, but Wikipedia may be helpful: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and Sky Network Television.

highlyeccentric

>Ancient Greek is a stupid language. No wonder it's dead.

Latin is much more reasonable. That's why it's a zombie language.

Context wants to eat your cerebelli

staranise

recessional: His full name is Optimus Prime, but he'll have to grow into that one.

terajk: Of course. Turning into a truck is an important developmental milestone for all cats.

Context is adorably fluffy.

boundbooks

recessional would like to share a thought with all of us:

It sounds much more impressive when you say "during the ninth century, much of Europe was ruled by Charlemagne, who often personally lead his wars accompanied by his sword Joyeuse" . . .

. . .as opposed to when you say, "In the eight hundreds in Europe, a guy named Big Karl was in charge, and he totally fought with a sword he called 'Happy'."

Context is that history is much more ridiculous than you might think.

labellementeuse

china_shop:

boy: Can you take your slash goggles off or are they welded on?
me: Ingrained. They're like the gas masks in that scary episode of Doctor Who.
boy: "Are you my pairing? Are you my pairing?"

Context is gardening with non-fannish partners.

Current Mood: amused

staranise

klgaffney: our marriage is me essentially designating who out of all the teeming millions i have chosen to stand back to back with while fighting off the zombies.

Context is discussing creepy marriage counselling theories.

rydra_wong

rushthatspeaks explains the portrait of Gabrielle d'Estrées and her sister:

So it looks like an extremely formal portrait of sixteenth-century lesbian sex, BUT ACTUALLY it's an extremely formal portrait of sixteenth-century vaguely suggested lesbian incest serving as a note to a prospective baby-daddy AND a comparison of the subject to the Virgin Mary.

Context is discussing Prince of Tides.

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cesy - Community posting rules
foxfirefey - Capslock Science: Magnets edition
foxfirefey - The two options of New England Snow
shadowspar - You can never have just one
elliemurasaki - (no subject)
dreamatdrew - YKINMKBYKIOK (SFW)
highlyeccentric - Things Trojie learned at writer's group
whump - mjg59 reminds us that architectural choices haunt you forever
xtina - "Reply hazy, try again."
rydra_wong - st_aurafina turns catastrophe into deliciousness
rydra_wong - rushthatspeaks has treasure overload
wychwood - ruuger's subconscious has interesting priorities
miss_s_b - A Comment on the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Sexism Row
elliemurasaki - (no subject)
boundbooks - I Vote For A Dual-Usage Word
highlyeccentric - A variant on an old truth, courtesy of Bedlamsbard
staranise - recessional's new kitten is called "Appa".
boundbooks - History is Ridiculous
labellementeuse - (no subject)
staranise - It's as good a heuristic as any.
rydra_wong - NSFW, but it's in the Louvre so that makes it respectable

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Page generated Jan. 28th, 2012 09:25 pm

Overheard on Dreamwidth

Recent Entries

Sticky: Community posting rules

Capslock Science: Magnets edition

The two options of New England Snow

You can never have just one

(no subject)

YKINMKBYKIOK (SFW)

Things Trojie learned at writer's group

mjg59 reminds us that architectural choices haunt you forever

"Reply hazy, try again."

st_aurafina turns catastrophe into deliciousness

rushthatspeaks has treasure overload

ruuger's subconscious has interesting priorities

A Comment on the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Sexism Row

(no subject)

I Vote For A Dual-Usage Word

A variant on an old truth, courtesy of Bedlamsbard

recessional's new kitten is called "Appa".

History is Ridiculous

(no subject)

It's as good a heuristic as any.

NSFW, but it's in the Louvre so that makes it respectable

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January 2012

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