cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
[personal profile] cesy
For the posting of amusing, insightful, witty (etc.) things said on Dreamwidth.

Rules:
  1. Quotes must have originated on Dreamwidth. (Yes, things posted here and cross-posted elsewhere at the same time are ok.)
  2. Original quotes only - quoting quotes on Dreamwidth does not make for a metaquote.
  3. Context! You must credit the quotee by linking to what they said. Include the permanent link to the entry (or comment thread, if you're quoting a comment) in which the quote appears.
  4. If the quote comes from a non-public entry, you must ask for permission from the quotee before posting, and add "QWP" to the post so the admins know all is above board.
  5. Cuts are your friends! [community profile] metaquotes is not intended to be safe-for-work, but please try to respect people browsing their Reading Page at work. Also, please keep quotes short. (How do I make a cut?)
  6. Don't quote yourself, or ask to be quoted. If someone else thinks you're funny, they'll do it. If they don't -- you're not.
  7. You've got 100 characters to set-up, comment on, or explain your quote if you must - that's how long the title of a post can be on DW.
  8. No flaming. The mods reserve the right to delete things that aren't funny. We can't promise this community will be a safe space, but we don't like people being nasty.


If you notice posts and comments which break these rules, alert a community admin so that the contribution can be deleted or mocked accordingly.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Apparently they're discussing turning Parliament off and then on again to see if that clears the problem.

[personal profile] rydra_wong

Context is trying to explain the day's news.
inky_magpie: a black and white photo of a blossom (Default)
[personal profile] inky_magpie
[personal profile] rachelmanija Wrote:

Message of almost every Newbery book before about 1990: Your pets will die. Your grandparents will die. Your parents will die. Your best friend will die. Mentally ill or abused or disabled people die, are institutionalized, or disappear. (You may learn later that they died.) Social workers lock up your mentally ill friends, take away your abused friends, and step on your kitten. Magic isn’t real. All attempts to do the right thing lead inevitably to misery. Everything is terrible.

Context discusses recently acquired books
staranise: A star anise floating in a cup of mint tea (Default)
[personal profile] staranise
and then I saw this stellar fucking take, which yeeted me out of my consciousness and into a nether dimension full of soulless ligbeets screeching about how ~50 years of academia are completely useless because their tumblr-educated ass said so.

(Context)
slipjig3: (Default)
[personal profile] slipjig3
To husband, who's away on a business trip:

We burned our bras today. Not because we needed to, but because they are stabby and we hate them. We've taken up the carpets and made armour out of the lot. Topsy constructed a sword out of your CD collection and had Thuban the Divine bless the blade. Topsy defends us, valiantly, from plunderers seeking to steal our shower turnips. Her warcry is, "FLOWERS ARE STUPID, BUGS SIT UPON THEM AND POO!" She's grown horns.



QWP from locked post. Context regrettably had to make its own coffee this morning.
rydra_wong: The display board of a train reads "this train is fucked". (this train is fucked)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
I believe we were on Walnut Street over the commuter rail tracks when Rob said something about our government and I said, "Yeah, well, Mitch McConnell ripped his own spine out from between his shoulder blades three years ago and laid it at the feet of the neo-Nazis to use as a bridge, so I don't really care what he thinks."

Context is fuelled by barbecued meats and tiki drinks.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
"Honey, I'm home! I was invalided home from the war! Good news is I still have nearly all of my limbs!"

"Darling! How unexpected!"

"...what is Jimmy doing here? And why is he wearing a pair of knickers on his head? Knickers with...my regimental crest?"


Context doesn't really make more sense, but does it have to?
commodorified: the words Anglican Socialist Weirdo on a Green and Yellow abstract background (Anglican Socialist Weirdo)
[personal profile] commodorified
QWP, locked, [profile] ninevah_uk

I didn't quite get through writing this document by doodling a guillotine every time I had to type the words "high-net worth individual", but it was a close-run thing.
cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
[personal profile] cesy
QWP from locked post, by [personal profile] ankaret:

who seems to have so comprehensively lost her marbles she could stand in as a model of the Parthenon.
rydra_wong: The display board of a train reads "this train is fucked". (this train is fucked)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
It's weird to think someone born in 2000 was sixteen in 2016 and now at the end of 2018 they're about fifty.


Context has had a long couple of years.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
4. How can I see them when they're hiding? It's unnatural. They might be INSIDE A BOX. Or UP HIGH ON A SHELF. Or even have their head under the couch so they can't see me. Or better yet, part of their body hidden under the couch, so they can see me but they're still entirely hidden as long as at least 5% of their fur is under the couch. And yet I have the audacity to look at them, as if they're not hidden at all!

Context doesn't deserve to have water sprayed on it.
kaberett: On May the 3rd 2013, an Adelie penguin looks REALLY UNPLEASANTLY SURPRISED and slightly flaily with its flippers. (HOLY SHIT)
[personal profile] kaberett
In response to a post by [personal profile] rydra_wong entitled Exciting new innovations in constitutional crisis, [personal profile] starlady:
This is the most 2018 thing I've heard in at least a week or so.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
"The mods keep freezing comments on my off-topic posts and tell me to only post mushrooms I want identified to the mushroom identification comm, so here's every photograph I've ever taken of any mushroom that looks even vaguely like a dick. I have been mushrooming for the better part of twenty years." (Wow, that's...a lot of mushrooms, neighbor.)

[personal profile] sara's context proves that whatever the content, fandom never changes. (More examples in the entry.)
rydra_wong: Fragment of a Tube map, with stations renamed Piero della Francesca, Harpo, Socrates and Seneca. (walking -- the great bear)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
[personal profile] antisoppist:

My kids keep having to do this game at school where they are all different countries and they have to make paper shapes but one lot has loads of paper and one pair of scissors and another lot has four pairs of scissors and three sheets of paper and another lot has all the rulers and someone else has lots of pencils. It usually ends in a fight. Which is quite realistic really. How have our MPs not noticed that we do not have all the scissors?


[personal profile] kaberett:

(because all the ones who are fucking this up so badly have spent their entire lives blissfully and arrogantly self-assured that of course they have all the scissors and have for generations, it's just that they might need to send the servants up to the attic to find them)


Context is watching Dominic Raab discover the existence of the Channel.
rydra_wong: "dreamwidth" on red/pink clouds (dreamwidth -- clouds)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
Last night one of my dreams involved a kind of sorting station full of huge golden capsules (roughly the size and shape of hatboxes, but with rounded edges). The staff said that whichever one was opened would determine the kind of god overseeing our reality. I think they mostly contained atheist or deist universes, with a sprinkling of angry gods, but there was one capsule that would put “Bob the Giant Space Cat” in charge. As they explained this, someone saw the Bob capsule (how they could tell idk as the capsules were all outwardly identical) and made a slow-motion dive towards it. They must have succeeded, for the heavens opened and Bob the Giant Space Cat descended in all His glory. “Welcome to your universe, Mr. Bob,” said the staff. “Would you like to tour the facility?” Then the dream segued to a surprisingly normal narrative about grocery shopping or something.

Context would welcome Bob the Giant Space Cat.
rydra_wong: Doonesbury: Mark announcing into a microphone, "That's guilty! Guilty, guilty, guilty!!" (during the Watergate scandal) (guilty)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
[personal profile] kore is admiring:

Man, Bob Mueller has been taking lessons from Beyonce or something.


Context is having a dance party.
rydra_wong: dreamsheep with spork and "SheepSpork" logo; no, it wouldn't make any more sense if you saw it  (dreamwidth -- sheepspork)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
I am the chair of the concom for the Hudson County Food and Homelessness summit in October 2019. One of the committee members casually referred to "the ineluctable progress of fascism." And I thought, no it isn't! We're elucting! So now I think of this as an Eluction Year.

Context is ineffable.
leeshajoy: (Default)
[personal profile] leeshajoy
Note to self, you should maybe consider not going directly from advice columns like Captain Awkward to feature reviews of antimalware products like ESET.

PUA means two very different things depending on which one of those you're reading and ESET is not capable of protecting anybody from pickup artists.

then again your average PUA is probably a potentially unwanted application made flesh, anyway.

Context wishes you could class douchebags as malware.

In memoriam

Sep. 5th, 2018 08:25 am
rydra_wong: Servalan looks inappropriately delicate and sincere. (b7 -- servalan is very pretty)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
[personal profile] thisbluespirit is remembering the late great Jacqueline Pearce as Supreme Commander Servalan:

It's not that it's only her costumes that were amazing. It's just that you can't talk about Servalan and not talk about how Jacqueline Pearce could walk out into a BBC quarry wearing evening dresses made out of feathers/chicken wire/lizards/whatever and make the quarry look like the thing that had embarrassingly turned up in the wrong outfit because obviously the universe should just bend itself around Supreme Commander Servalan (and often did).

Context will miss her.
rydra_wong: The display board of a train reads "this train is fucked". (this train is fucked)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
I was trying to figure out what Putin hates. Sharks, no. Bears, no. How can I somehow represent the Magnitsky Act with glitter?

Context is sparkly.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
I have decided to resolve this tension in the easiest and most elegant way I can, which is to say I intend to undergo the Vulcan ritual of Kolinahr, thus divesting myself of all emotion forever. I will then move into a dank mountain cave. There I shall abandon my humanity and pursue life as an apprentice fruit bat, forever cut off from any news sources that might cause me distress.

Context is divided.
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