cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
[personal profile] cesy2009-10-29 06:59 am
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[sticky entry] Sticky: Community posting rules

For the posting of amusing, insightful, witty (etc.) things said on Dreamwidth.

Rules:
  1. Quotes must have originated on Dreamwidth. (Yes, things posted here and cross-posted elsewhere at the same time are ok.)
  2. Original quotes only - quoting quotes on Dreamwidth does not make for a metaquote.
  3. Context! You must credit the quotee by linking to what they said. Include the permanent link to the entry (or comment thread, if you're quoting a comment) in which the quote appears.
  4. If the quote comes from a non-public entry, you must ask for permission from the quotee before posting, and add "QWP" to the post so the admins know all is above board.
  5. Cuts are your friends! [community profile] metaquotes is not intended to be safe-for-work, but please try to respect people browsing their Reading Page at work. Also, please keep quotes short. (How do I make a cut?)
  6. Don't quote yourself, or ask to be quoted. If someone else thinks you're funny, they'll do it. If they don't -- you're not.
  7. You've got 100 characters to set-up, comment on, or explain your quote if you must - that's how long the title of a post can be on DW.
  8. No flaming. The mods reserve the right to delete things that aren't funny. We can't promise this community will be a safe space, but we don't like people being nasty.


If you notice posts and comments which break these rules, alert a community admin so that the contribution can be deleted or mocked accordingly.
lilysea: Mischievous (Mischievous)
[personal profile] lilysea2017-10-10 09:00 pm

(no subject)

"I hope he gets the kind of church coffee that relies on faith to make one scant teaspoonful of cheap instant serve thirty members of the congregation."  - [personal profile] sillymouse 

Context is non-believers culturally appropriating churches for nebulous reasons
.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-10-08 01:08 am

[personal profile] keith_morrison has ideas about how Earth ended up running the Federation....

"So, fellow ambassadors, where should we designate as the capital, bearing in mind the long history and proud traditions many of our members have and taking into account--"

"The humans will screw anyone, won't they?"

"Um...well...well, yes."

"Earth. If it's not going to be my homeworld, at least make it one where the natives are up for some fun."


As Spock would surely say, the context is only logical, Captain.
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea (Default)
[personal profile] redbird2017-09-28 09:23 am

(no subject)

The Marriage Equality postal vote is grinding me down into an hysterical paste, so I am about as chatty and engaging as a jar of Vegemite. I like Vegemite, but when it comes down to it, it's a salty spreadable paste, not a conversationalist.

From a locked post by [personal profile] st_aurafina
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-09-23 01:19 am

[personal profile] archangelbeth on cats

Cats can reproduce by budding. Make sure to dispose of all brushed fur properly.

Context needs to comb her cat more often.

Who needs education when you've got a UTERUS?

[personal profile] sasha_honeypalm's musical tribute to Barbara G. Walker's (professionally published!) novel
Amazon:


Don't know much about history
Don't know much about theology
Don't know much 'bout how to write a book
Don't know how to cite the quotes I took
But I know all that I say must be true
And I know if you believed it, too
What a wonderful world this would be

Don't know much about geography
Don't know much sociology
Don't know how to understand folklore
Don't know what a reference book is for
But I do know that one god is bad
And if we'd kept the goddess we once had
What a wonderful world this would be

Now, I don't claim to be a goddess
But I'm tryin' to be
For maybe if I'm a goddess, people
You'll all worship me.

Don't know much about history
Don't know much about technology
Don't know much...


[personal profile] rosepsyche's paean to the Power of Story is also quoteworthy:

I have to call "bull" on Antiope's reasoning that art and music are inferior because they are "not alive" for another reason. No, such creations aren't living, breathing things. However (and I apologize if this gets a bit corny), the best of them can seem as if they are alive, get us invested in their characters, have us cheering about their triumphs and crying over their tragedies. They are just as valuable in their own way for their ability to entertain, to inspire, to teach, to help us grow and develop by seeing the world from a new point of view, and I don't think anyone involved in creating them would appreciate being told that their work can never compare to something that was squeezed out of a vagina.


Context sporks the world's worst Wonder Woman fanfic.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-09-12 11:01 am

[personal profile] pink_halen on eggs and cages

It seems that Starbucks is offering sandwiches with Cage Free Egg Whites. Personally, I never keep my egg whites in cages. Usually keeping them in their shells works just fine.

Context is free-range.
rydra_wong: dreamsheep with spork and "SheepSpork" logo; no, it wouldn't make any more sense if you saw it  (dreamwidth -- sheepspork)
[personal profile] rydra_wong2017-09-10 05:45 pm

[personal profile] ivy is a stranger in a strange land

Everyone was nice to me, but I found it hard to participate in some of the conversations because everyone else there was fluent in Gearhead and I just don't care. It was all

One dude: "How do you like that model BLQ45Z?"
Other dude: "It's got pretty good flang, but the chimping bleederweep doesn't zerbert as well as I like in the corners."
First dude: "I heard that floppykush helps with the zerberting, tried that?"
Third dude: "My next squelch is gonna be a floppykush! Used to have a panpan bleederweep, but you know what they say about those oilsquirms!"
All dudes: [nod sagely and then argue]


Context is locked; QWP.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-09-06 03:07 am

[personal profile] siderea on the Netherlands

Has anybody else noticed the Dutch are gradually turning their entire country into one vast arcology? I anticipate that, eventually, they will finally deploy the nation-covering dome, light the buried booster rockets, and launch the entirety of the Netherlands into low earth orbit....

Context was responding to this article. (Also, do read the entire comment. You won't regret it.)
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-08-18 10:44 pm

[personal profile] oakfarm wants to make their own ketchup....

It should be pretentious and snobbish to say: “Sure I eat hot dogs, I have homemade mustard and homemade lingonberry ketchup on it”. Then to take the DIY philosophy serious you have to make the hot dog yourself.

Context sounds delicious!
lilysea: Serious (Default)
[personal profile] lilysea2017-08-17 07:00 pm

smalldeer has questions about apples

oh and a warm apple. like, a really warm apple. warmer than my teeth when i bit into it. no offense but. why. did they microwave this apple? did they store it in a dragon's mouth before allowing me to purchase it? did this apple recently return from a trip to the surface of the sun?

Context is the slings and arrows of working in the food service industry.

rydra_wong: dreamsheep with spork and "SheepSpork" logo; no, it wouldn't make any more sense if you saw it  (dreamwidth -- sheepspork)
[personal profile] rydra_wong2017-08-07 03:33 pm

[personal profile] sapote has rather unexpectedly found herself responsible for a Bird

I would say having a bird is like a very very very very minor version of having a small child except that it's more like having a tiny version of myself, age 32, viz:


8 am:

me: Good morning little sunshine! How are you? Wakey wakey!
Bird, glowering: enhhhhhh
Bird, half an hour later: enhhhhhhh
Bird, forty-five minutes later, still hiding under covered portion of cage: ENHHHHHH
Bird, minute 53: ::glumly meanders over to the seed tray::
Bird, minute 60: okay. okay. okay. Chirp.

Bird, hours 2 - 18: CHIRP. Chirp? Chirp! CHIRP.
Bird: WHAT IS THAT
Me: that's your swing, bird, it's been here forever.
Bird: IT IS MY ENEMY.
Bird: it is my friend?
Bird: I think I'm going to flirt with it.
Bird: I think I'm going to KICK IT. HWAH! HWAH!
Bird: IT ATTACKED ME RUN RUN RUN RUN
Bird: ... ... ... what is THAT?

Bird: the bell goes ding!
Bird: the bell goes ding!
Bird, four hours later: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! THE BELL, IT GOES DING.

Cut for length )

Context.

Over at [personal profile] oursin's, they're pondering what comes next after Peak Mindfulness...

... and [personal profile] rydra_wong suggests:

"Heal Your Pain With Pain: A Mindful Self-Flagellation Workbook".


Context is browsing the Mind Bollocks Spirit bookshelves.
gingicat: the hands of Doctor Who #10, Martha Jones, and Jack Harkness clasped together with the caption "All for One" (all for one)
[personal profile] gingicat2017-07-27 08:57 pm

Ysabetwordsmith on a Certain Cinematic Universe

The characters I liked best? The bad guys. They were hard-working citizens who got screwed out of jobs that were legally contracted as theirs. So they decided to do something else, by selling alien equipment.

Context contains spoilers for a movie currently in theatres.
jesse_the_k: harbor seal's head with caption "seal of approval" (Approval)

[personal profile] spiralsheep sketches the zombie high school AU

Zombie cheerleader says: "Rah rah rust!"

Zombie High motto is: "If we can't win using our brains then we'll use your brains!" ;-)


Context is a Lego cheerleader in a graveyard, among other topics
lilysea: Mischievous (Mischievous)
[personal profile] lilysea2017-07-20 12:30 pm

liseuse will lasso the wild novella

I think my bookshelves mostly convey the message "you need more shelves" and "apparently will read anything that stays still long enough."

Context
is "is this a case for - the ponceyness police?"




Gotham City: the town where "weird" has a whole 'nother baseline.

[personal profile] owlbrigade1 cites this case in point:

Gotham police are at a loss to explain a sudden rise in animal themed costumed weirdos? Surely the explanation is the same as it is for the long standing animal themed weirdos? It is Gotham, it is what they do. People in animal costumes wreaking havoc is practically a city tradition.

Context, to no one's surprise, involves Harley Quinn.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-07-15 09:13 pm

[personal profile] brooksmoses has discovered the Hannover wurst

Hannover wurst appears to be what happens is when you have the question of whether to have sausage or bacon with your breakfast, and you make the obvious-in-retrospect choice of "Both! At the same time!" and make sausage in part out of bacon.

Context, needless to say, is delicious.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-07-10 09:09 pm

[personal profile] playswithworms has found a non-patriarchal reason to shave ones armpits

When you have a non-releasable raccoon baby that you're trying to socialize and get her used to humans and handling, and she *loves* to stick her nose up your sleeve and try to chew on your armpit hair.

Context is really good advice for people with pet raccoons.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-07-10 02:47 pm

[personal profile] beccaelizabeth on feminism and sci-fi

When was the last time you saw a bloke about to aim his spaceship towards noble sacrifice stop to cry about never having had children?

... arguably Picard, but, it is not generally a genre feature

unless women.


Context would like a warning label for fics with "women, written by men, who think they need a reason."
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly2017-07-10 02:44 pm

[personal profile] catwalksalone has a lava floor

I made it!

Almost.

Sadly, my left foot was lost in a floor lava touching incident, but with immediate amputation we were able to save the rest of the leg. Don't know how I'm going to explain THAT at work tomorrow. "Sorry, I can't drive my car, I lost my foot in an imaginary incident involving non-existent lava." I don't think there's a Health and Safety Policy for that.


Context does understand about convection, thank you.