I dunno, nuns could knit some pretty naughty things.

[azurelunatic]

In times of distress, resonant is moved to verse:

I want to read some smut and there is none.
I think the universe is very rude.
I thought this evening would be much more fun;
I want to read some smut and there is none.
Am I reduced to knitting like a nun?
Or reading things where people don't get nude?!
I want to read some smut and there is none.
I think the universe is very rude.

shayheyred responds:

Oft in this life we're faced with great regret
That smut we seek yet smut we cannot get.
For where soe'er we look we see it not,
And what limp smut we find is not quite...hot.
In cases such as these there's but one way
To find the smut we want right now, today:
Seek it no more, on tube or 'net or shelf,
But take your pen and write the smut yourself!

Context's woe is iambic.