translations from the feline: the flying mouse affair

[azurelunatic]

heresluck's cats have encountered the local bat population:

Theo: Ah kaaaaaaaaaaawwa mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumf! A faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaii mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumf!
h[omeowner &] l[ocal biped]: WTF?
Theo: Ah kawwa faii moumf!
h.l: [flicks lightswitch] OH SHIT.
Theo: I caught--
Toby: DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH, YOU IDIOT.
Theo: --a flying mouse! I have to sing a victory aria!
Bat: OH SHIT.
h.l: THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
Bat: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
h.l: Dammit, now it's under the couch. -- OH no you don't.
Toby: LET ME GO. I'LL GET IT.
h.l: How on earth did your brother end up with the bat in the first place? Did it, like, fly into his mouth as he sang a song of great and ferocious hunter-ness?
Toby: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
Bat [sotto voce]: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
Toby: SERIOUSLY, LET GO OF ME. THAT IS MY NATURAL PREY UNDER THERE AND I WANT IT.
h.l: Um, no.
Theo: I caught a flying mouse! Did you see?
h.l: Yes, Theo, I saw. [scoops]
Toby: AND YOU LET IT GET AWAY. I SERIOUSLY CANNOT BELIEVE WE'RE RELATED.

Context has even more hilarity, and explanations of who's who.