Toft would like to improve modern literature

[ineptshieldmaid]

we were having a conversation in the pub the other day that started with, I think, an amusing story of an undergraduate essay involving a queer reading that didn't quite make it (which sadly is not mine to tell online), and ended with a discussion about how every great book and film title can be improved no end by substituting a noun for the word 'lesbian'. Think about it! The Lesbian of Wildfell Hall! Pride and Lesbians! The Lesbian in the Rye! A Tale of Two Lesbians! Hard Lesbians! Lady Chatterley's Lesbian! Portrait of the Artist as a Young Lesbian! Die Hard with a Lesbian! (Best queer film about two girls who get together after meeting in a fabric workshop they both take in an attempt to sort out their lives: Dye Hard with a Lesbian). Anyway, those are all books I'd read/films I'd see. Note to large bookstore chains everywhere.

Context includes the Fifteen Oooes of Christ, and the union of reasoned critique and tentacle porn