metaquotes | thebunnyknows how to cuss out a careless driver

The climax to

thebunnyknows' retelling of embarrassing public situations she gets herself into had me in stitches.

While I was leaving the store I was pushing the cart and had taken a few steps away from the sidewalk when a car ran the stop sign and nearly plowed into me and the cart holding the youngling and I lost my shit and channeled my inner Ray Person.

In the middle of a semi-crowded parking lot I opened up my mouth, shouted at the top my lungs and called the driver a "combat jacking, sister humping, whiskey-tango motherf**ker" and informed him that he needed to "hang up his overpriced cell phone, take his hand off his c**k and pay attention while driving his god-damned car" before he killed someone.

The youngling decided that this would be a great time to learn from mommy and shouted 'motherf**ker' too.

Needless to say I had an audience.

While the car that nearly ran me over proceeded pulled away and went to park I realized that there was some soft laughter coming from behind me on the sidewalk, when I turned around there a pair of out of uniform but very obviously marines standing on the sidewalk.

And when I looked at them they started CLAPPING.

While I started praying for a hole to open up so I could disappear one of the marines (Please Note: I live next door to Quantico, my home town is crawling with military personal. After 20+ years in this place I know how to spot jar-head out of uniform) said that he was very impressed with my display and asked if I was married to a marine.

I said no, but I've dated a few and admitted that I had just finished reading/watching Generation Kill and it obviously had made an impact on my vocabulary.

Both of them told me that my display of temper was the best and most entertaining thing they'd seen in a while and offered to help me with the groceries. I, however, just wanted to get away before I made a bigger idiot of myself and said "Thanks, but no thanks. I could handle it." and they went off to their car while I went to mine, loaded youngling and everything up and went home.

Context. Censorship mine, for those reading at work.