An anonymous academic had A. Day.

[azurelunatic]

[...] as much advice is doled out to young academics applying for tenure track jobs, senior people applying for tenured jobs could use some basic advice themselves. Such as:

• Do not yell at your interlocutors. They are evaluating you as a future colleague. They do not like being yelled at.
• We also think that assistant professor is particularly lovely. That does not mean we approve when you sexually harass her during your talk.
• Many of our students here are not native speakers of English. Probably you should not demonstrate that you have a hard time listening to understanding people whose fluent and excellent English is accented. Or people whose skin color suggests they might not be native English speakers. Particularly when they're Canadian.
• When asked a question about how you would help students navigate a particularly rocky shoal that many face, the proper response is not, "Well, I've never been any good at that."
• Having your first question to a group consisting mainly of students of color be "Where are you from?" will not endear you to them.
• Do not, ever, put in a performance that causes us to wonder if you were drunk while delivering your talk. Ever. Ever.
• Generally, understand that the reason you are a tenured professor who was invited to compete for this position is a comment on the interestingness and relevance of your written work, and not on the size of your dick.

Context's journal is insufficiently anonymous to allow posting above advice unlocked. (Ditto linkback.) Quoted with permission.

Comments

[billie]

HOLY COW and I thought that was just people working at my university. Cripes.

[msilverstar]

Actually, I think it's good to get these things exposed early on in the process. The more effective they are at hiding prejudice and nastiness, the more of a surprise later :-/

[nonethefewer]

*blinkety blink blink*

Said anonymous academic had an entire month, given all this!

[archersangel]

Generally, understand that the reason you are a tenured professor who was invited to compete for this position is a comment on the interestingness and relevance of your written work, and not on the size of your dick.

wait....what?

[paxpinnae]

Do not, ever, put in a performance that causes us to wonder if you were drunk while delivering your talk. Ever. Ever.

Really? Because there's at least one professor at My Esteemed University who shows up to every class with an empty blackboard and a full pitcher of margaritas, then proceeds to swap the adjectives.

Than again, he has tenure.

[azurelunatic]

In that case, I think the "wonder" is right out of the equation...

[hendrikboom]

But does he lecture well?

[azurelunatic]

This is a good question, and depends entirely on the quality of the drunken lectures. I range between really fucking entertaining to really actually kind of incoherent when I'm on something.