stultiloquentia: Campbells condensed primordial soup (Default)
stultiloquentia ([personal profile] stultiloquentia) wrote in [community profile] metaquotes2009-08-30 09:56 am

TO: Our Valued Colleagues East of the Sun and West of the Moon

[personal profile] marcellinafuriosa shares a memo:

3. Wherever possible, giants are to be replaced by irritable and uncouth men of average height.

4. Pending negotiations with our suppliers amongst in-lake armaments distributors, White Wizards and Dwarvish smiths, questing heroes will be awarded EITHER the Shield of Invincibility OR the Sword of Truth, NOT both. No substitutions, no exceptions.

5. In a two-phase streamlining operation, the Royal Nine are to be downsized into the Aristocratic Seven, with the option of further consolidation into the Well-Bred Five if economic conditions do not improve within three years.

The rest is here.